By the time that a client contacts me they’ve usually already worked their way through a few dozen fitness DVD’s, exercise classes and motivational feel-good books, but nothing in those has helped to address their issue.
They’ve also tried portion control, avoiding certain ‘problem foods’, swallowed a fair few bottles of potions or pills, but unfortunately none of those have provided them with the permanent solution they craved.
And they’ve usually spent a fair amount of time, and money, dabbling with ‘special diet foods’, shakes, soups and all the other what-nots, but those haven’t provided what they wanted, to be able to eat like most other people do.
And so when my client and I first meet, well it’s during that first meeting that I’ll need to ask them some questions to get a handle on what’s going on in their mind, what’s the reasons behind all that fat they’re carrying, and one of those questions will usually go something like this …
“So why are you overweight?”
… and then I’d pause, go silent, and let those feelings, the ones that may have been lying hidden for a long time, to be given the opportunity to state their case.
And when I ask this I’m not judging them, nor am I criticising them, I’m simply asking them to allow themselves to notice what it is that they already know about themselves, which might perhaps be something they’ve either never voiced, or not voiced for so long that they’d plain forgotten why they were self-medicating their life this way.
It’s important for us to realise that by the time we’ve piled on the pounds there’s going to be a similarly weighty reason for us having wanted to , or need to do so.
Thinking back over some of the clients I’ve worked with, both male & female, gay, straight and somewhere in-between, here’s a few of the kinds of responses I’ve had.
I’m fat so I don’t get attention from ‘them’ any more
I’m fat so people don’t expect me to do much
I’m fat because all failures are fat and they call me ‘failure-face’ at home
I got fat so my uncle wouldn’t touch me any more
I’m fat so I don’t have to deal with the other sex
I put on my weight so nobody would expect me to go out with people
I’m fat because I hate myself
I’m fat because when I eat I can switch off the feelings I don’t want
I am fat so my husband won’t want to have sex with me
And when I hear this it shows me that, deep down inside, my clients already know that being overweight / fat / chubby / cuddly (pick the one that you most often use to describe yourself) is NEVER ever *just* an issue to do with calories.
Nope. It’s never a body problem, it’s ALWAYS a thought problem, which is where I can help, since experience has shown that when we can change our thoughts, something magical happens.
We also change how we see and feel about ourself and our diet changes too.
It’s as if, before that thought changed, we’d locked ourselves in a panic-room where the walls were made out of blocks of fat, and after the thoughts change, the walls, do literally, come tumbling down.
So, would you like some new thoughts, ones that allow you to exit your panic-room and get on with the business of enjoying your life?
Perhaps now’s the time for you to step outside too.
We’re here, outside, ready to greet you when you’re ready.